Chapter 11

October 26, 2011

Alice Springs, Northern Territory, Australia

Dear Jeff,

It's 1:53 in the morning. I just got home from my first concert in Alice. We're talkin' small town living here bro...as close to Byron as a chap can get in the land down under. Well, hold up, I'm exaggerating a bit, I'm in the middle of the fuckin' desert. But that didn't stop Naughty By Nature from coming here, coincidentally on the last day of the Jeff Darling memorial. You son of a bitch. I can't wait to meet up with you again and talk about tonight. Seriously, there's no way you didn't have a hand in this happening. Thank you. They obviously played everything from our hey-days. Everything I know and love because of you, bumping it loud without limits in the basement of Cindy May's house, way back in the day when death and disease and responsibility seemed like a century away from us. We were untouchable and we didn't even fully know it. We were too young to realize what we had.

Thankfully, I'm lucky and aware enough to look back on that now.

What am I doing here in Alice? Maybe you know. I don't. I just know it feels right. I belong here for the time being until I wipe my financial slate clean and figure out the new what next. I forget a lot of important things that I shouldn't. But I'll never forget this time of year, and specifically the last solid life talk I had with you. We both shed tears. You were stoned and I was coked out. It was a rare occasion for both of us. You told me you wanted to leave town, maybe move to California and “Kramer” your way into show business. I supported that all the way. If anyone could've done it, it would've been you. I still believe that. It kills me that no one will ever see the stuff we filmed in Vancouver. What fucks me up the most is that losing my Mom made me stronger, but losing you made me doubt everything. I didn't know what to do for a long time. I guess I still don't. In the past three years since you've been gone I've made a lot of changes. Most recently, a very drastic one; I'm on my own again. If you ever want to interject on my life just throw something at me. I'll understand and respond accordingly.

P.S. Two things didn't work out tonight:  I was supposed to go back-stage with my buddy Joe, who is a magician. He was hired to perform tricks for Treach and the boys after the show and I was asked to be the camera man, but a bull-dyke security guard led me astray and I found myself outside amidst a shit load of pointless fights for taxis. I had to walk home alone in the darkness with a rolled up fist-full of coins. And the other thing is they didn't play “jamboree” and I was really pissed.