You could call me crazy right off the hop here, but I got voices in my head. I believe we all do. Some of us just don't listen. Some of us just don't hear. Well, we should.
Aside from poker games, the different voices that I hear have never steered me wrong. I've followed a voice all the way to Vancouver where I fell in love with the girl o' my dreams. I've followed a voice all the way back home to a brave new world of ideas. I've learned that there are many different voices within that come calling at certain junctures of one's life, and every now n' then they conflict with each other and you find yourself at the crossroads. In this corner, we've got the voice of invincible youth, one of the first things we ever knew and felt from the beginning. The innocent belief that we can do anything and go anywhere with our lives. What a world it would be if we didn't have to let that go. But then something happens to most of us. We begin to "grow up" and another voice creeps it's way into our heads. Sometimes slowly, sometimes suddenly, but when it comes it brings the noise and it makes it harder to hear anything else. In this corner, I'm talkin' about the voice of society, not asking, but telling us join the rat race. Once this voice gets in there we tend to go through a period of struggle between the two voices yelling back n’ forth from within, trying to drown the other out. You might call this the first third of a midlife crisis. Now maybe I'm dissecting this way too much, but I feel that I have to. There's a battle going on in my heart n' mind right now and it could very well determine the path of the rest of my life.
I'm sure of this much; if we become successful doing whatever we’re doing by listening to the first voice, before the second one has a chance to intervene than it’s typically clear sailing. We can hear both voices quite easily without any inner competition. However, if we don’t make it to where we wanna be by a certain time then the voice of society chimes in along with the surrounding banter of others who've already made their choice and before we know it we’re shackled to a house that doesn’t pay for itself, working a job that we’re never gonna be totally happy with and it becomes increasingly more difficult to get out of. Does that scare the shit out of anyone else?
Don't get me wrong, I know that some people willingly choose to live the common life. They don't hear any voices and they're genuinely happy with the future of a spouse, house, kids, and the occasional vacation. I'm glad they're out there. Everybody's got their place. I just don't think I can do that. Not yet anyway. Perhaps there will be more to report when the battle is over.
Listen carefully my friends.
