Fellas, Ladies, and anyone who cares,
I’m outta here by now and I know I’m gonna miss you all. If I didn’t get the chance to say goodbye in person and give you a solid hug, then just know that I tried and that I love ya regardless. There's a little bit more I want you to know...
This last summer here was a big chapter for me. Perhaps more so than the adventure that awaits overseas because it was all about preparation. Beyond packin’ shit up and tying up loose ends, it was big because I feel like I shed old skin and emerged as a new dude. I really didn’t do anything different, but I became a lot more aware about myself, my friends, my surroundings and the fact that I’ve still got a lot more life to live with maybe not as much time as I need. Without getting too tragic here I have to admit that losing my Mom at such a pinnacle age had some interesting effects on me, both positive n’ negative. The year we lost Jeff was without a doubt the worst year of my life. We all lost something huge there and we all deal with that shit in different ways. I lost all motivation to do anything for myself. Since then I feel like all I’ve been doing is crawling out of a hole. It’s taken way too fuckin’ long and now that I’m back on the surface all I want to do is head for the edge of the map and breath some new air. It’s difficult to explain this to people like my Aunt La because she can’t understand why I’d want to be so far away from everyone I love. You guys know I’ve got my reasons. We’re all good at something. So far I seem to be pretty good at traveling. Whatever the reason may be, the urge to live abroad again is in my blood and I’ve learned that you shouldn’t mess with instinct. At one bonfire or another you’ve probably heard me ramble on about not being afraid of dying because I strongly believe that we all get to meet up again in a way sweeter place. Death is what it is. Everybody wants to get to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
What does scare me more than anything is the idea of not seeing, hearing, and experiencing the things that I’m supposed to before its’ all over. For the first time in my life I can hear the clock ticking and it’s lighting a fire under my ass. With all this new shit comes a shaky feeling of not knowing where I’ll end up or when I’ll come back. I hold a steadfast commitment to refrain from returning home until I’ve found my place in the world, found a career that I love as much as everything else that I love. And with that being said, there’s a very small chance I may not see some of you guys for a long time. It’s fucked up to think like that but as we all know by now, anything can happen.
The thought of that helps me get it all out in this letter and whenever I get deep into writing something like this, my mind seems to let go and something more profound takes over. I space out and trip back to a million different moments shared with the people I’ve known forever. Most of you I don’t even remember how we first met. It’s like we were always just there, hangin’ around from the beginning. And the meaningful characters that I’ve met along the way have fit right in there as a perfect part of the story line. It doesn’t really matter how far away we are or how long we’re gone from each other’s day to day. What’s important is that we keep each other posted on what’s up in life. If you’re drunk n’ happy, if your stoked about something coming up, if you got laid by that girl you’ve been gunnin’ for, if you’re getting married, if something crazy happened, if you won the lottery, if you just need an old friend to talk to…. I’m never that hard to reach. Don’t hesitate. I’m your boy for life.
It all keeps going. We keep living our lives the best way we can and we have the luxury of living vicariously and proud because of the amazing variety of lives that we are all living and sharing with each other. You guys are my family and I couldn’t have asked for a better crew of genuine people to inspire me and help me through shit and buy me drinks and keep it all so everlastingly interesting. For everything you are and everything you do, I gotta say thanks. I’m a lucky bastard.
I’ll see you all somewhere later
Love n’ Brotherhood,
Josh Wicks
