Ten years to the day

   It was around 7:30 in the morning when the phone rang. It woke me up out of a light, un-easy sleep. I heard my Dad answer it upstairs. I already knew what the call was about. I got out of bed, walked over to the closet and picked out a nice button shirt and tie to put on. A natural numbness was already beginning to set in. I don't even remember eating breakfast. We were in the car, driving silently to the hospital- a man preparing to say goodbye to his wife and a boy preparing to say goodbye to his Mother. My Dad made a comment about my attire. “Couldn't think of anything else to wear.” I responded.

The two of us were trying so hard to be strong for each other's sake but it was evident we were both on the verge of breaking down. The road had no distance. The people had no faces. The day had no time. It was just us in a room. Dad by the window, Aunt La in the chair, Mom in the bed, me at her side, holding her hand. Absolute silence except for her breathing. I whispered “go.” And she did.
Then it began to rain in that room. It poured down in a variety of different tears; Despair and joy. Grief and peace. We took on a new pain as she was relieved of hers.

It was then that I noticed the sun shining through the window. And then we were there, outside in the warmth, walking through the concrete acres of the hospital parking lot. I couldn't stop gazing up. That warmth held me as if I was a newborn baby again in her arms. And at that moment I knew she was there. I knew she would always be there. So I smiled and put my arm around my Aunt, told her it was going to be okay, and we drove home.
Two days later I wept for the entirety of a night until I had no voice and nothing more to cry out.

I never shed a tear for my Mom again after that. And I never realized that fact until this year.

The memory of Valerie Wicks lives on in the heartfelt stories of my family and friends. She was a magnificent person who did a lot of good for a lot of people while she was here on earth. Over the last 10 years she has shown me signs, pulled strings, pointed me in certain directions, and saved me from bad situations. Some nights I even hear her voice answering my heaviest questions. She has become my Obi-Wan Kenobi, guiding me through the epic journey of life. This, I believe is proof that Love is truly the most powerful force in the universe. If you let it be.