October 26, 2011
Alice Springs, Northern Territory,
Australia
Dear Jeff,
It's 1:53 in the morning. I just got
home from my first concert in Alice. We're talkin' small town living
here bro...as close to Byron as a chap can get in the land down
under. Well, hold up, I'm exaggerating a bit, I'm in the middle of
the fuckin' desert. But that didn't stop Naughty By Nature from
coming here, coincidentally on the last day of the Jeff Darling
memorial. You son of a bitch. I can't wait to meet up with you again
and talk about tonight. Seriously, there's no way you didn't have a
hand in this happening. Thank you. They obviously played everything
from our hey-days. Everything I know and love because of you, bumping
it loud without limits in the basement of Cindy May's house, way back
in the day when death and disease and responsibility seemed like a
century away from us. We were untouchable and we didn't even fully
know it. We were too young to realize what we had.
Thankfully, I'm lucky and aware enough
to look back on that now.
What am I doing here in Alice? Maybe
you know. I don't. I just know it feels right. I belong here for the
time being until I wipe my financial slate clean and figure out the
new what next. I forget a lot of important things that I shouldn't.
But I'll never forget this time of year, and specifically the last
solid life talk I had with you. We both shed tears. You were stoned
and I was coked out. It was a rare occasion for both of us. You told
me you wanted to leave town, maybe move to California and “Kramer”
your way into show business. I supported that all the way. If anyone
could've done it, it would've been you. I still believe that. It
kills me that no one will ever see the stuff we filmed in Vancouver.
What fucks me up the most is that losing my Mom made me stronger, but
losing you made me doubt everything. I didn't know what to do for a
long time. I guess I still don't. In the past three years since
you've been gone I've made a lot of changes. Most recently, a very
drastic one; I'm on my own again. If you ever want to interject on my
life just throw something at me. I'll understand and respond
accordingly.
P.S. Two things didn't work out
tonight: I was supposed to go back-stage with my buddy Joe, who is a
magician. He was hired to perform tricks for Treach and the boys
after the show and I was asked to be the camera man, but a
bull-dyke security guard led me astray and I found myself outside amidst a shit load of pointless fights for taxis. I had to walk home alone in
the darkness with a rolled up fist-full of coins. And the other thing
is they didn't play “jamboree” and I was really pissed.
