the temporary hood

My temporary neighborhood is bigger than I'm used to. It consists of very tall apartment complex's, rising up like miracle trees of modern science. Except, let's shoot the metaphor right now without regard and face the facts. High rises and smart-centeres are appearing out of nowhere much more than they should, where they are wanted a lot more by the yuppies than they are needed by the down-right real cats who choose to read stuff like this. 

Fuck me, I'm already getting way outta hand and off topic here. I enjoy these new surroundings for the time-being. Good amenities nearby. But definitely temporary for me. A few more months time and I'm sure I would start to become noticeably unbalanced. For now it's all just the humble beginning of yet another chapter in my life. Chapter 9.  How I got hear is pretty irrelevant. Doesn't really matter for now. All you need to know is what I know; I'm a 26 year old dude, still making moves to find his path. Here's a chart.

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>DISCOVERY OF SELF 

WITHIN SURROUNDINGS/ SOCIETY

>>DISCOVERY OF PERSONAL LIFE PATH 

(this path, if chosen wisely and followed diligently leads to...)

>>>DISCOVERY  OF PLACE/ FINDING THE NICHE

>>>>LIVING THE DREAM OR SETTLING DOWN CONFIDENTLY 

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Some people never even get on a path to find out where it leads. Some people spend a great amount of their years tripping down many different paths, trying eagerly to find their place in the world- their title. Where everything in life becomes a lot clearer. If you're lucky enough to reach that then you can pretty much breath easy and know that you're livin' it up the way you're supposed to. Good time to start reproducing. 

I've been hopping from one path to another for what feels like quite some time now but when I talk to cats on the cusp of turning 40, they tell me I've only just begun. I really don't know who to listen to anymore. But another freshly seeded path is set to be journeyed down and this time I'm ready for damn near anything. Just gotta get my taxes done before I take the plunge. Only the spirits know how long it'll be before I emerge again. Possibilities are endless once again....finally. 

I walked in tonight and found this fortune cookie script laying on the floor...

" You can't build a reputation on what you're going to do."  What a skull-fuck! The forces are talking more specifically now: get off your ass!  

I thought I was already up n' going, but I'm still jogging through the haze of a half ass motivational front. Sure, I may have some people fooled, but they don't know me like brethren. The ones I would kill for and die for make up a very short list, but I suspect that they know I'm only going half ass on this devotion. And I am just as curious as  they are as to why I'm not giving this my undivided attention. I'm more than half way to getting there and I still don' t completely understand why I'm not one hundred percent into it 100% of the time. I'm still trying to find my old inspired self again. Maybe another visit to the cemetery is in order. Maybe for a longer, more significant amount of time. Don't leave until you honestly feel you've got some sort of direction. It worked before, just be open. I really don't have any guaranteed remedies to finding answers anymore, but lately I've found just walking around and taking the bus like in my days of innocence, as I refer to them, seems to conjure up a better sense of who I really am to the rest of this good city's people.  Unfortunately this is only a very small margin of  the audience I hope to get "indirect" feedback from.  By this I mean, not verbally but by body language and mannerisms. I have found an affinity in people watching, and I haven't truly realized it until I was forced to start taking the transit system again. I actually declined a ride today, knowing that it was a peak period to ride the bus and read my book as well as the fellow passengers who hoped on at every stop. Everyone on this planet has one great story that can be shared with the rest of us. This is a fact that blows my mind and keeps me talking to strangers. Eventually they're gonna share something significant. 

I'm beginning to feel things swinging my way again, setting up to launch out of this state of limbo and into a fast-paced future with lots of communication amongst everybody. It'll be an exciting time and I hope it lasts as long as possible and spreads like wildfire.